- Monday’s Workouts:
- Cardio (1/2 hr)
- 1-on-1 session (1 hr)
- Massage
- Spin Class (1 hr)
- Santa Monica Stairs (167 steps, 6 flights, 1 hr)
- Gym Boot Camp (1 hr)
- Pedometer reading: 16,878 steps, 7.98 miles
- Tuesday’s Workouts:
- 1/2-hr Cardio
- Weigh-In
- Abs/Core (1/2-hr)
- Swimming (50 laps, 1 hr)
- Nutrition meeting
- 1-on-1 Session (1 hr)
- Gym Boot Camp (1 ½ hrs)
- Pedometer reading: dingaling forgot to wear it!
After Monday’s lunch and a little bit of retail therapy for myself (don’t worry…I just went to the sporting goods store to get more exercise stuff), we were taken to the Santa Monica Stairs (you can see photos of them in Day 55’s Note). As traffic was heavy on the way, we had less than the usual time to climb them. I HOPED that I would be able to do at least 5 ascents with the shortened amount of time. I’m happy to say that I managed SIX full ascents in under an hour. I stretched my calves, hamstrings, and quadriceps at the top and the bottom of each climb with the hope that I wouldn’t awaken on Tuesday morning in extreme muscle soreness. I have decided that I definitely prefer the Stairs over the Dunes.
This morning, Tuesday, I was meant to go on the Beach Walk. Instead, while I was scheduled to chat with Claire in the afternoon, she asked to talk with me right away. So, I did and I had a good cry and without revealing all that was said, I think we’ve reached part of the root of the problem. Y’know, we ALL have issues, and I HOPE that I don’t use my own issues as excuses for bad behavior or poor performance. I know I don’t always succeed, but I think for the most part I just keep them deep inside and grin and bear it. Claire pointed out to me that I’ve kept myself distracted from taking care of myself with working too many hours for so many years, volunteering my time, and generally worrying more about other people and other issues instead of just myself. And now, with no job, no home, no bills, and no man, I should have absolutely nothing to distract me from taking care of me. But that is a new concept for me and I’m obviously struggling with that. I’ve been letting myself get worked up about how everyone else is doing and whether my efforts are going unnoticed. Certainly with no weight loss last week it felt like my efforts were pointless, despite how hard I worked. So, Claire’s idea to help is that I do fewer group activities since I’m distracted by and intolerant of other people’s chatter (yes, I admit it, one of my character flaws is that I’m not as tolerant as I should be). I will be scheduled to have more one-on-one sessions. I feel guilty about this, though! I feel like I’m getting special treatment and that others will resent it. BUT!!! I have to get my head around the fact that, y’know what? – I’m PAYING a lot of money for this and I should get more one-on-one sessions if that’s what it takes AND I have to just FORGET about what other people think ‘cause I have no control over that anyway. Aaaargh, it’s so hard to do! I’m not one of those people who can visualize or change my mindset with positive thoughts and just erase what has been bothering me. AND I’m not one to ask for special favors. It didn’t even occur to me to ask for fewer group activities. One thing that I DID request several weeks ago was fewer daily calories but they weren’t willing to do that. It wasn’t until I laid that big fat goose egg last week that I asked again and finally they agreed. So, since Thursday I’ve been on around 1100 calories per week instead of 1300. I’m kicking myself for not being more adamant about that. I mean…look at TWO weeks ago when I lost SEVEN pounds because I insisted on fewer muscle-building exercises and did more fat-burning work. Grrrr…as I think about it right now, I can think of a lot of times when I didn’t follow my first instinct and wasn’t adamant about what I wanted and instead ended up with a lot of misery or inconvenience or annoyance or whatever as a result. OK, lesson learned! Stick to your guns!
I had my usual Tuesday weigh-in next, and as my mood wasn’t significantly improved yet and I knew that I had had a less than stellar week up ‘til today, I wasn’t expecting anything good, even with the reduced-calorie meal plan. I really had no high hopes at all and was just going to suck it up and accept that it was not going to be a good measurement. WELL! Nicola started me off at last week’s weight and then started moving the scale down. At two pounds it didn’t budge. At four pounds, it still didn’t budge. I kept myself absolutely still and truthfully I don’t think it was sinking in that I had lost more than four pounds. Nicola kept moving the scale and finally at six pounds, it moved. I couldn’t believe it; I had lost six pounds. I was expecting no more than two, I swear. I was pleased with that, of course, but my surly mood was preventing me from celebrating, and I wasn’t expecting any inches to be gone either. As Nicola measured though, there was an inch here, a half-inch there, and in the end, I had lost nearly five inches. Again, I was surprised and pleased, but it sure didn’t look like it! When I added it up in my head, I had lost 35 lbs and 56 inches in 9 weeks. That’s……pretty good! So I’m sure it didn’t appear to Nicola that I was happy about it, but it did boost my spirits a little bit. If I can lose 5 lbs at each of the next three weigh-ins, then I will meet my goal and hit a milestone. I’m convinced that the reduced-calorie meal plan helped – this is why I’m kicking myself for not insisting on this sooner; maybe I would have had better than 4-lb and 3-lb losses over the first six weeks. I’ve already decided to do extra fat-burning on the cardio machines whenever I have some spare time. I started doing that today. I also did an extra workout that wasn’t even on my schedule (abs/core). I am just plain determined to meet or even exceed my goal, dammit!!
Next up was swimming and I was not feeling ANY shoulder pain for the first time in four weeks. What a relief. Before heading out though, Nicola and Claire chatted with me about my schedule going forward and showed that they are indeed going to give me more one-on-one time, so I felt pretty good about that. It was what I needed, too, to help me start thinking about only myself and forget about everyone and everything else. We arrived at the pool, and after a few warmup laps, I started swimming non-stop. My shoulder wasn’t bothering me at all so I managed to do 10 laps at a time before taking a water break. First I did 10 freestyle laps. Then I did 10 backstroke laps. Then I did 10 freestyle laps but with my arms only. And then finally a mixture of freestyle and backstroke laps to get me to 50 laps. I was doing the flip-turn between each lap. I’m sure my form wasn’t correct, but it was enough to keep me going without stopping. I was really, REALLY proud of myself. And tired! My left arm/shoulder didn’t hurt but it was definitely tired. I’m feeling it NOW, several hours later ;-) I’m looking forward to Thursday’s swim to try to do twenty laps at a time without stopping. I’ll let ya know…
I had a nutrition session with Karen after lunch and after I did some extra cardio and gave myself a good stretching session. That was really nice because almost everyone was doing the flag football activity so the gym was practically empty, and I was able to choose my own music. Thanks to Carmichael for suggesting some good reggae music ‘cause that was perfect for my stretching session. Funnily after I finished I removed my iPod and inadvertently chose a country music radio station. Now, I like country music but I couldn’t tell you who sings what. I figured someone would have changed the station for their next workout, but the country music was left on the rest of the day. I actually enjoyed it and was amused that no one had changed it. Hmmmm, that would be better than that pop-crap that I keep hearing. I swear, that song “PokerFace” or whatever it’s called is going to drive me up the wall. The radio station plays it at least twice every hour….and it’s annoying!!! How can anyone like that song?
Next up was a one-on-one session with Eric (v’ball player). Eric continued with some more shoulder rehab exercises. Oh man, talk about BURN! Even though it burns, I’m still just happy that I can do anything with my arm now. I still get some numbness and tingling if I hold my arm in a certain position, but it doesn’t feel like I can’t do anything with it anymore. I’ve tried bicep curls, lateral raises, chest presses, shoulder presses, back rows, tricep work, and even pushups (my pushups suck, but I’m getting better at them). I do have some soreness, but it’s nothing like the major pain that I had been feeling. It still hurts to sit at the table and eat or type on the laptop (so I need to hurry and get this blog done!). We also worked on “core” and did the ball balance. This time we took pictures! I’ve mastered the all-fours balance and the two-knees-one-hand balance and have almost mastered the knees-only balance.
The ultimate goal is to balance on one knee and the opposite hand with the free hand and free leg extended. We’re practicing this stance on the Bosu ball as it’s much more difficult to find the center of gravity to balance without falling on my face. I have less than three weeks to get it done. We finished up the day with a gym boot camp. I was happy that I could lift heavier free weights. I’m not back up to my maximum, but at least I’m getting there. My shoulder is talking to me now though. Ow!
So, after a week of feeling really down and ready to leave the camp, I’m beginning to look up again. I feel a little more confident that I might reach my goal after all with the reduced-calorie meal plan, more one-on-one attention, and the extra cardio here and there. I’m going to go to the gym and just read more to help me tune out all the conversations (I have one of those Amazon Kindles – PERFECT for cardio machines!). I’ve read all of your messages of support and encouragement. It took me a day to take them to heart and to see that I’m not alone in all this. I have to say that again….I’M NOT ALONE IN THIS. Thank you, thank you, for taking the time to read my daily notes and to send your positive thoughts. Gosh, if everyone had even half the amount of support that all of you have given me, everyone could meet their goals. As I think about it some more…WOW…there are SOOOO many people who are cheering for me – more than I ever expected. The whole response to my blog has been pleasantly surprising. Thank you for telling me that I’ve inspired you. I WILL continue to do more than my best not only until the end of my stay in California, but also afterwards, for I won’t have reached my ultimate goal in these twelve weeks, but I will be on my way. I am proud to have done something good that inspires you to do something good, too. Thanks for reminding me!
Much love to you all,
Donna
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