Day Seventy-Eight – Wanna Be On “Survivor”?

Wednesday’s Workouts:
• NONE! I auditioned for “Survivor” instead!

During Day 77 I had been toying with the idea of going to the Open Call Auditions for the CBS reality show, “Survivor.” I would not say I’m a HUGE fan of Survivor. I’ve watched fewer than half of all the seasons, though I did watch most of the season that just finished this past Sunday. I stated before that I’ve never really wanted to be a contestant on Survivor. I’d much rather be on The Amazing Race. I remember when the very first Survivor aired. I had absolutely no interest in watching a series that showed people backstabbing and fighting with each other. How embarrassing! However, whenever the commercial for the Open Call Auditions would appear, I admit that I became intrigued. When was I ever going to be this close to an audition opportunity like this again? I did an internet search for the location and found that it was in Pala, California, which was at least a 2-hour drive south of Marina Del Rey. This meant that I was going to have to take an entire day off from fitness camp if I was going to do this. I asked a few people at the camp if they wanted to go do it with me but there were no takers. I also checked with Claire and Nicola to see if they thought it was a good idea to give up a day of working out, but they were all for it. “Go for it.” Now I had to figure out transportation. By now it was 5:30pm. I called a rental car company who was closing at 6pm, so I had them come get me and then set me up with a car. It was definite now…I was going to do it!

When I returned home, I called Shella to see if she was available to join me for this little road trip, and happily she was. The auditions were scheduled from 9:00am to 3:00pm (i.e., you had to be in line by 3:00pm to get an audition). I felt it was important to get there as early as possible so that I could be at the beginning of the queue. I did not relish the idea of standing in line for several hours but I assumed it was going to happen. So, we made plans for me to collect Shella around 6:00am. Next I went online to search for any blogs or news articles about anyone’s experience at previous Survivor auditions. I did find a few, including one as recent as April in Baltimore. In Baltimore, it was cold and raining the day of the auditions, and people waited in line for 5 hours in that weather to get their 2-minute video done. I also read that most people start lining up at 5:00am to be early in the queue at 9:00am. Yikes!!! This had me very worried that if I didn’t get there ‘til 9:00am, the line would have been horrendously long and I might not be able to return the rental car in time. Then I had the bright idea that perhaps I should drive down TONIGHT so that I wouldn’t be too sleepy in the morning. I called Shella back to see if she wanted to do that with me if I could get a hotel room. She was willing (and had to hurry…by now it was after 9pm). So, I called the Pala Casino, Resort & Spa where the auditions were being held and asked if they had any rooms available. They did, so I booked it, hurriedly packed a bag, a blanket for sitting in line, a shawl to keep me warm, my meals, and camera, and headed out to collect Shella. By the time we actually got on the road it was 11:00pm, which is waaaaay past my bedtime!

This is the first time in over ten years that I have driven any more than 40 mph and more than 15 miles. Bermuda is only 25-26 miles long and I worked from home, so I rarely drove more than a few miles every week. I had to remember to stick to the right side of the road, too, heh heh. I had a Pontiac GT105, I think. It was OK, but I know for sure I never want a car with a rear spoiler on the trunk; I’m short and that thing gets in the way! We were comfortable nonetheless and found our way to the state highway that led to the Pala Casino. By now it was nearly 1:00am and this road was dark with few street lights and had many blind and winding curves. It was a precarious and nerve-wracking final leg of the trip to get to the Casino. We arrived safely and checked in quickly to get to our room. I was still concerned about waiting in the long lines and whether we would be able to get out of the room by the 11:00am checkout time. I called the desk clerk and asked about a late checkout. They were able to accommodate us with a half-day rate, so we were safe ‘til 6pm. I was happy with that ‘cause I was knew that I was going to be very tired after the audition and might need a nap before getting back on the road. It hadn’t occurred to me though that I wasn’t going to get the car back to the rental company on time – too tired I guess! The desk clerks had mentioned that people were going to get in the queue at 5:00am, so I set my alarm for 4:15am. OUCH! As usual, I had difficulty getting to sleep, this time because I was in a different environment and I was anxious about the day ahead. I struggled to get out of bed; thankfully I had already showered so it was just a matter of freshening up and making it look like I was wide awake instead of feeling like a zombie. I grabbed my blanket, one of my meals for breakfast, some water, and my camera, and headed downstairs. Shella was still sleeping.

The signs for the Open Call led me to an auditorium where there were about 125 people already seated in the center section and more following me. We were directed to stick to the middle section so I found a seat and waited. The atmosphere was very lively despite the ungodly hour. There was a live news camera crew from CBS2 in Los Angeles, so they were getting the people cheering and singing and randomly interviewing potential contestants. Dang, had I know I would have set the DVR to record! There were several live spots and the camera was all over the place, so I was in many of the crowd shots for the live reports. The reporter played a sound clip which included suggestions from previous Survivor contestants on how to get through the audition. The repeated suggestion was “you gotta do something memorable.” Yikes, I had to really think about what I was going to do in only one minute!! The reporter also had an iPod so he was playing music for us in between spots, and if he saw anyone singing the song playing he would RUN to them and give them the microphone. Around 6:00am we were told that around 7:00am we were going to be given, in groups of 50, paper bracelets of different colors which indicated our callback time, so that we didn’t have to sit there all this time. Rather, we could LEAVE; they suggested going gambling. Hah…I was going for a nap! I just had to stick it out for another hour. The news reporter continued to keep the crowd going until about 7:00am. Then a producer or casting director or some guy from Survivor (who was actually pretty funny) spoke to us about the procedure; we were to come back later and do a ONE-minute video (usually you get two minutes but as they were expecting so many people, they cut it to one minute. Dang.). It was all very civilized, I must say, and almost painless. The bracelets were handed out to the people in the rows in front of me. As I was there so early I was happy to receive a bracelet for the third group which had a callback time of 9:45am. Yaaay! By now it was about 8am so I headed back to the room, told Shella to go back to sleep, and I set my alarm for an hour’s nap (‘cause I wanted to put on makeup and work on what I was going to say and do for my one-minute. I also had to finish my application.).

The hour passed too quickly; I’m sure I barely dozed. This time I put on some makeup and headed downstairs. Again I thought I was going to have a long wait. I’m such an idiot…forgot the camera, so I texted Shella to bring it down, thinking we had plenty of time. WELL! The two groups ahead of us were apparently finished, so they took our group to another area of the hotel where rooms were set up with cameras. I texted Shella to hurry ‘cause it looked like it wasn’t going to be a long wait….and I was right. We waited to reach the registration table where our applications were assigned a number and a camera. The registrars told us that we would stand in front of the camera with our application held in front of our chest (the number was pretty big), give our name, and then we could drop it to do our one-minute spiel. There were two cameras going at first and the line was moving quickly. Shella arrived just in time as I was entering the room for my one-minute of fame. Shella used the opportunity to interview a couple of other applicants; Shella does some freelance writing and figured this was some good material. The girl ahead of me was very quiet. We could barely hear what she said. So the funny casting guy from earlier said to speak loud and proud. I, of course, have no trouble projecting my voice, and I said something like this (keep in mind I was very nervous and as I had only just decided to do this thing about 15 hours earlier, I hadn’t prepared anything crazy):

Hi, I’m Donna Gauthier. I’m a proud Cajun, Southern-Belle from New Orleans, Louisiana. I’ve just spent 11 weeks at a hard core fitness boot camp where I’ve lost nearly 50 lbs, but I need to lose 50 more, and I want to do it on Survivor! I’m kind, friendly, well-organized, and very flexible, both mentally and physically (at this point I did a heel stretch). I would love to be on Survivor!”

Now, please don’t write about what I should or should not have done. It’s over and done with and I don’t want to have any regrets about coulda, woulda, shoulda. According to the FAQ, they will only contact me if they want to do an interview. As there are thousands and thousands of people applying for each season, I do not expect to be called. I did this just for the experience of doing it. It was a fun experience and I can check that off of my list of “things to do” – although I admit applying to be on Survivor was never on that list ;-) The whole process was pretty good. The application was the most difficult part. Some of the questions to be answered were (and my responses – the ones that I can remember):

• If you could hold any political office, what would it be and why? Mayor of New Orleans; it’s my home town, and I would work to rejuvenate and renew her. It’s the best city in the world to me.
• Name three of your favorite hobbies. (1) Scuba diving (2) Amateur Theatre (3) Gourmet restaurant dining
• List three adjectives that best describe yourself. (1) Tenacious (2) Perseverant (3) Compassionate
• How would you friends describe you? Thanks to all of you who made suggestions. I used many of them! Fair, Bodacious, Determined, Intuitive, Effervescent, Spirited
• What are your pet peeves? I can’t remember exactly what I wrote, but I think I put down (1) Ignorant people who don’t read instructions (2) In the real world, dishonesty and disrespect
• What is the accomplishment you are most proud of? Creating the most popular website in Bermuda -- I did elaborate on this some more
• If you watched any or all of the previous SURVIVOR cycles, which SURVIVOR contestants do you most relate to? Why? Rudy from Season 2; he was a no-nonsense kind of guy
• Describe your perfect day. Spending a day with family in New Orleans with a big crawfish boil, telling stories, playing games, and laughing laughing laughing – if I was in New Orleans this weekend I’d be doing that ‘cause they’re celebrating my Nan’s retirement. Wish I was with y’all!
• Do you know any reality show contestants? If so, who and to what extent? Believe it or not, I have to say “yes” to this. One of the recent “Bachelor” guys works out with Eric, the owner. No, he did not marry the girl he chose on the show and no, it’s not the most recent guy who dumped Melissa who went on to “Dancing With The Stars.”
• Who is your hero and why?Condoleeza Rice – she’s a class act. I wrote more than that but I can’t remember all of it.
• List three non-survival related items you would take with you to the remote location, if allowed, and why. (1) American flag (a big one), to remind us that we are free, but ALSO because Cody had one with him on Season 2, I think, and they ended up using it as shelter. (2) A Voodoo doll – to freak out the other contestants (3) a cast iron skillet – for cooking and hammering
• What would be the craziest, wildest thing you would do for a million dollars? I can’t remember what I wrote!! Probably something boring like, “I go on Survivor and be humiliated in front of millions of people.”
• What would you NOT do for a million dollars? Steal, kill
• What skills do you bring to SURVIVOR that would make you a useful member of the group? I’m drawing a blank on what I wrote for this one. I think I mentioned the mental and physical flexibility and that I was a good organizer.
• If you were stranded, who would you most want to be stranded with? I wrote “Steve Martin” – who I have loved since I was 12 yrs old (remember “King Tut”?)
• What is your primary motivation for being on the show? What is your secondary motivation? I can’t remember which one I put first, but I probably put “to win a million bucks” first and “to be challenged” second.
• Why do you believe you could be the final Survivor? I think I wrote something like, “I’m kind and friendly enough to get everyone to trust me, but I’m beguiling enough to convince them that I would not vote for them and then I would. I would use my Godfather philosophy: “It’s not personal, it’s business.”

As we finished so early (I was out by 10:45am) and I had already paid for the room ‘til 6pm, we decided to get a couple of spa treatments. The spa was lovely and had this wonderful scent throughout. I didn’t recognize what it was, but I liked it. Shella had a stress-relief massage. I had two treatments – an apricot & shea body wrap (for hydrating and moisturizing) and a lava-shell body massage; both of our massages were done by the same man. That was the first time I’ve had a man give me a massage without it leading to baseball! The atmosphere was my favorite part. The treatment rooms also had outdoor showers and outdoor bedding and were exposed to the mountains (but not to any perverts out there, unless there was a pervert on the mountain with a telescope). We also enjoyed the steam room, hot tub, and just relaxing. I was absolutely exhausted by this point and tried to rest, but I was concerned that we were going to hit Los Angeles traffic, so we left the spa around 3:30 and were checked out and on the road by 4:00pm.

This was a bad move. We really should have left as soon as we finished the audition process. Once we were on the road we were able to see the lovely mountain scenery around the area; Shella took some photos for me. Pala Casino is on the Pala Indian Reservation. The mountains surrounding the area were rocky and partially covered with brush and trees. I liked them. I prefer the ocean over the mountains, but it was a nice sight to behold. While we were enjoying the scenery, I completely forgot about filling the gas tank. After we drove onto I-5 I noticed the “gas tank empty” light. Ok, no problem, we had enough to get us to the next exit. Except the next exit was far away. AND there was a US Border Patrol Road Block in process! It was so odd. We were heading north and I’m sure we weren’t anywhere near the border, but the Patrol had all five lanes of the interstate blocked and were glancing at each of us before letting us go. Shella and I turned to see that there were loads of Border Patrol cars along the side. We wondered what they were up to; I was also wondering if I was going to have enough gas in the car to get us to a station! The next exit, it turned out, was an entrance to Camp Pendleton. We joked about letting Shella talk to the cute military guard ‘cause she’s English (from Essex), but then I decided to use a sweet southern accent just for the hell of it. Hee hee. We had to turn around and leave, of course, but it was fun to be that close to so many men in uniform. The guard told us that at the next exit we could find a station. Neither Shella nor I paid 100% attention to the directions; all we heard was “next exit” – he MIGHT have told us to turn at the ‘big parking lot’ or ‘first left’ but if he did we both missed it. We took the next exit and kept going and going and it was apparent there was no gas station. There was a cyclist on this very hilly road (and he was older than we; kudos to him for attacking this road; it would have killed me) so we slowed down to ask him about the nearest gas station. We were heading down a dead-end road and had passed the street where there was a gas station. So, we had to go all the way to the end to turn around, and it was another entrance to Camp Pendleton. By now I’m sweating because (a) I was worried that we weren’t going to make it and (b) I had turned off the air conditioner to reduce gas usage until we bought more. So…we turn around and find the road on which we should have turned…and THAT one seems to go on and on but at least we saw several businesses so I was feeling better about finding a gas station. Whew…finally one turned up. We filled up and were back on the road. As we approached the southern outer city limits of L.A., traffic became a nightmare. And we sat in it forever. Generally I don’t let traffic bother me because it’s out of my control and there’s nothing I can do about it. This time, however, I was so tired and just wanted to get home and I needed to get Shella home as soon as possible as she had plans for the night. Needless to say I didn’t make it back to the rental company before 6pm, but I had called them whilst at the gas station to let them know I’d have the car another day. The night before it took us 2 ½ hours to get to Pala. The return trip took FOUR and a half hours! Ouch! I was home by 8:30 after dropping Shella and with only a couple of hours of dozing previously, I wanted to get to bed as soon as possible. The daily updates for Tuesday and Wednesday were going to have to wait.

All in all it was a fun experience…the Survivor audition and the road trip with Shella. I’m glad I did it. I only did it because I want to be able to say I did it and it’s unlikely I’d ever have another chance like this again. I have absolutely no expectations of being called back. Truthfully, if I was called back, I think I’d be scared. As in…”oh no, what did I get myself into?!” However, if my one-in-a-million chance pays off and I did get on Survivor, I would play to the best of my ability, befriending everyone but trusting no one, and I’d break promises about votes left and right – it’s for a million dollars, after all!